Marriage License Discount for the Religious ONLY!

Hurry, hurry, hurry!  Get your super-fly cheap marriage licenses down at your county courthouse.  IF you are willing to attend pre-marital counseling with a clergy person from your town, that is…

My fiance and I went down to the license bureau today to get information and apply for a marriage license in Waseca County.  We first had to take an oath swearing to God that we were telling the truth in regards to our answers we gave the clerk.  We were both dumbstruck, especially as she slid over the ’so help you, God’ part really fast and very quietly.  I just looked over at Heretic and was like, dang.  Sigh…

Then we were told that licenses cost $110 OR $40 if you go through some kind of pre-marital counseling with clergy in our town.  I asked “Is there a secular alternative for the pre-marital counseling?”  The lady looked taken aback and said no, but then said she’d check with the other clerk, who is the office’s “marriage expert”.  She called the other clerk over and said “These people want to know if there is a non-religious alternative to the pre-marital counseling.”  The other clerk looked at us and said “No!  No, there’s not.”  I asked them if they were sure, and they said yes, very…

We’re just wondering why a person of religious persuasion would be given a discount on their marriage license, while those of us who have no religion in our lives must pay more, as we have no alternative to the counseling…

Here’s what I WANTED to say:  “You mean some unmarried pedophile priest is able to counsel people about MARRIAGE???  Good call on that one!” If you have any little bastards, make sure to leave them at home when you go to your counseling, even if you can’t find a babysitter…

Of course I just smiled and hoped that we’d get some help from the ACLU or FFRF.  We’ll see what happens and I’ll share as many details as I can as they develop.

Father, please tell us how to be a good married couple...

The Secular Buddhist

Hey all:  My friend has a new website about secular Buddhism, please check it out if you feel so inclined:  The Secular Buddhist. This site is still in the early stages of development, so if this is something that interests you, make sure to check back often!

He also has some videos at the Minnesota Atheists Vimeo site.  Yes, we have a Vimeo account now, rock on, Bjorn!

Anti-Abortion Protester Murdered

Here’s a link to the article detailing the murder of an anti-abortion protestor.

It seems a little different from others at this point, as the man who killed the protestor appeared to be on a killing spree and specifically targeted one individual who was protesting, but also murdered a couple of other individuals elsewhere.
It should be interesting to see more details about this case emerge.  At the time, it appears this this murder didn’t have much to do with abortion…  It’s hard to imagine the usual scenario being reversed, though I’m willing to keep an open mind until I find out more.

Update: Chaste AND Monogamous; not so much!

Everyone can freely lash out at me or the Strib for reporting this incorrectly!    I just finished going through the entire document (or at least what I can find online so far from the ELCA) and chaste isn’t mentioned ONCE in the entire thing.  What the hell?
So, here’s my apology to all ELCA’ers.  Thanks for attempting to take this reasonable stance on homosexuality.  And to the Strib:  dang guys, you really suck.

ID Theory Courtesy of teh LOLCats…

Wow.  This is just too great!  Proof of Ceiling Cat.  (Thanks, Bjorn!)

If Ceiling Cat dint ecksist how cud all of dis happun? If teh howse wus too cowd we wud be ded kittehs wif ice! If teh howse wus too hot we wud be ded kittehs wif crispees!

True enough.  And then there’s Pascal’s Wager, of course:

If I is beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat, and he is reel, I will be gettin cheezburger. But if I has no beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat, and he is reel, I will be getting pwned. If there no Ceiling Cat, no matter anywai. I think I is beleefin in teh Ceiling Cat.

Chaste AND Monogamous

You can't be married, but you have to be chaste and monogamous. Funk dat noise.

Same sex relationships approved by the ELCA as long as they are both ‘chaste and monogamous’…

So basically, you can live with one ‘friend’ of the same sex, you have to live with them forever, and they can be your only ‘friend’…  Um, okay.

Reckless Driving to Avoid Sunday School

A 7 year old boy, trying to avoid church, takes his father’s vehicle on a joy ride. Nice.  I also like the police advice given to the father:  Keep your keys out of your kid’s reach.  Duh.  Probably didn’t think of it since it’s not in the bible anywhere…

Kids and cars do not mix!  Although I will give the kid points on creative ways to avoid church with your parents, considering that sometimes even adult atheists keep their silence while mom and pop drag them to the Midnight Mass on Xmas…

Godless Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt proclaims publicly that he doesn’t believe in god.
Good for you, Brad Pitt.  Seems like now everyone’s waiting for the ‘Blame Angelina’ game to begin…  I say if anything, thank Ms. Angelina.  Take the woo right out of those sails, girl!

With all of the public good these two participate in, they’ll be awesome atheist role models.  Now we just need Brad to up his atheist percentage and get rid of that fence-sitting, word-mincing agnostic stuff.  Just semantics so ya won’t piss off too many people, throw it out.

God Changes You…

Gov. Mark Sanford writes an opinion piece and asks residents to just wait and let God change him.

Fun.  So, God is going to help him be a better person NOW?  After years of being a total hypocritical dick?  Again, God certainly does work in mysterious ways…

I love that he’s trying to court the vote of crazy people, though.  He knows that’s all he has left if he ever wants to get elected for ANYTHING ever again.  Appeal to the nuts in your state.

Beat Your Wife, Love God!

UPDATE:  LINK TO SITE. Click on the door if you go to the link originally posted below in my original post.

This website was shared by a Facebook friend and I really love it. It basically says that if you are using real Biblical discipline on your wife, then it’s not abuse because you’re doing “God’s will”.  (I still have to wonder how many of these guys have stoned their wives or children to death in the middle of town, but hey!  Whatever works for them, right?)

The author of the website says that the Christians who practice DD (domestic discipline) should not hide for fear of ridicule, but should proudly proclaim that they are using DD  in their homes according to the instructions they’ve received from the Bible.

I agree that they shouldn’t hide, and should be as open as possible about these situations.  That way, if a good person like myself hears about any of these insane misogynistic assholes abusing their wives or children, I can report them to the proper authorities, and at the very least have their children taken away even if their idiot wives won’t leave.