The Evolution of Troll Patrol

Christians say the devil did this.

Okay, let’s face it, deciding how to run your blog has a fairly clear and distinct evolution.  And yes, there ARE transitional blogs for you to look at.  I’m one myself!

When you start your blog, you feel so lucky if even 10 people a day look at the dang thing!  Every time you see a hit, you feel good.  “Yeah!  Someone at least looked at my stuff!”  Some trolls come around and post, and you leave them up there.  You even feed them, because no one else is posting and you are just so thrilled that someone is that you don’t care what they say or how they say it.  It might make you a little sad, especially since you have come across SOOOOO many christian blogs and just left them alone, but you go with it.  Bad attention is better than no attention.

But now, your blog starts growing.  More people are looking at it.  Some days when you have only 100 hits, you feel a little hint of sadness, knowing that you usually do MUCH better.  You keep reminding yourself that when you started, even 10 looks a day was enough to really make you smile.

You start to get others to post, people who want to talk to you.  They post relevant to what you have posted, they have comments, they share articles and videos with you.  At times, it even feels like you’re getting to know them.  (You know you’re not, you’re not a crazy person!  But it still is a nice feeling.)

You start to realize that you do not need trolls to foster your blog.  Your blog will live without them.  Your blog might even be BETTER without them.

You wouldn’t let a stranger walk into your house and accuse you of being a child molester, but you let them walk into your blog and do that?  No way.  It’s rude, and it’s not an okay feeling.  Another not so great feeling is someone looking up your fiance’s name and finding your home address to send hate mail to.  Or someone following the crumbs to your Amazon.com wishlist and making assumptions about you based on what you have put on there for your friends and family to possibly buy for you for your GD birthday if they’ve run out of ideas…

The trolls always say “Well, if you put it on the internet…”  Uh huh.  As stated previously, there are many, many, many, too many christian sites out there, and I have only posted on one.  A friendly one.  And about something irrelevant to religion or lack thereof.  I would never go find sites with a contrary opinion to mine and post on them to try to tell them the error of their ways, and why atheism is so much better.  It’s inane.

So, new rules.  I was thinking of how to word them, exactly, but now I know.  I found the perfect wording at Atheist Revolution in a post from 2007. (A very excellent atheist blog, if you didn’t already know that!)  I plan on using the same rules, as they couldn’t really get any better:

Clearly off-topic comments from trolls will be deleted, especially those transparently designed to bait others or filled with Christianspeak.

If readers will ignore the type of comment described above, I suspect that their frequency will decrease. This will also make it easier for me to delete these comments without disrupting the thread. That is, don’t feed the trolls.

If you are finding yourself posting more than 10 comments in the same thread within a 24-hour period, please take it down a notch.

Trolls who repeatedly post irrelevant comments, bait others, rely on Christianspeak, or regularly violate the rules of argument will be banned. Except in the most extreme cases, a warning will be extended before banning.

I do not take the decision to delete a comment or ban a commenter lightly. I would prefer not to do this at all, for I believe that even the most despicable sort of Christian troll can yield valuable insight into the fascinating mind of a Christian.

I am leaving the last words in, as I feel they’re important.  No one wants to censor anyone, it just feels wrong on so many levels.  But these are our homes, and we get to choose how they are run.  Even a couple of days ago, this was a safe blog for trolls.  It’s just not anymore.  It’s not like I have a super busy blog like PZ; I have time to delete troll comments. 

In closing, as a FB friend so eloquently stated to me, DNFTMFT.

Do NOT feed this thing!

Trolls are Dumb. (Well, some can spell!)

Morality: Do what God tells you OR ELSE!!!

Oh man.  So many religionuts take issue with the fact that I call myself “sunny”.  It’s about the same number that take issue with the idea that I’m moral.  (I can call you a religionut if you troll post in any way at any atheist blog.  No normal religious person would be a troll.  For example, that Valerie chick is a quite normal religious person who is absolutely NOT a religionut…)

Look, I know that it’s rough when you live your life as a total bastard, and then come across someone you thought should be a bastard as well, but they aren’t.   I know how bad that must make you feel, especially if you’re a liar, cheater, adulterer, or worse, and you come across some ‘evil’ atheist who isn’t…  Tough.  If you’re living your life in a way that is hurting yourself or others, that’s your problem.  If you try to hurt me, you’ll be removed from my life, and that’s all there is to that.

I also know that you’d rather I be glum or depressed.  It could be easier, I admit. The thing is, atheists, unlike religionuts, aren’t accustomed to taking the easy way out.  It isn’t always easy having a sunny disposition and a positive attitude, yet I still do every day.

Says some random troll:

In the end, all die and meet the same end: the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the bigots and the tolerant, the lovers and the haters, the greedy and the generous.
In an accidental, absurd universe where morality is relative, life has no meaning and purpose, there is no free will and death is the end, I can live as I please.
That can be a good thing or a bad thing, but either way, it doesn’t make a difference.

Does it matter in the long run?  Of course not.  In the grand scheme of the universe, we are absolutely nothing.  It certainly matters while I’m alive though, at the very least to myself and those around me.

Also, religious people really need to get a grip and stop suggesting there’s no meaning to life without god, or that I should just kill myself.  (Before this latest troll gets up in arms, this was not stated directly from the troll quoted above, but from so many wonderful others!)  Why would I kill myself if this is my only life?  You go ahead, you’re never going to die, right?

Vic and I are well aware that once we die, there probably won’t even be anyone to remember us, as we don’t plan on having children.  It still doesn’t mean we have to live our lives as awful jackasses, like so many religionuts do.  Why?  I guess I don’t know.  What’s stopping me from licking the crotch of the 3 year old down the street?  I guess just his parents, they get so uptight all the time, gosh!

Don't let it keep you up at night, kid, I'm NOT going to lick you.

Be Nicer to Religionuts

I’ve heard from religious peeps and non-religious peeps who say that I should be nicer to religionuts on this blog.

Short answer:  No.

Long answer:

Do you know what a religionut really is?

Do you know people who don’t have real jobs, but instead evangelize every day at various local community venues?  Do you know that some of them actually home-school their children so that they can come along with them to assist them in their evangelizing?  Do you know that I have seen children pulled out of school because someone in a science class merely mentioned evolution?

They stand outside the Planned Parenthood and cry about abortions, and while they’re crying about abortions, they also tell people that they shouldn’t use any other forms of birth control either.  Way to prevent abortions!  They turn around another day and champion the death penalty, an eye for an eye, you know.  They care more about cells than people.  They value human life as far as they value imposing their own backwards views and judgments on others.

Do you know that they write hate mail to people, and not just over the internet, but also send snail-mail to the homes of non-believers?  Do you know that their hate mail is truly hate mail, including threats to our lives and safety?  Do you know that the reason I lock my door when I’m home is because of religionuts?

Do you know that some of them just might commit any act they feel like, including lying, stealing, adultery, and sometimes worse, but think it’s okay because they have god or jesus on their side?  Do you know that they do this while at the same time confronting people like myself about merely being an atheist?  Do you know that they actually get upset that I haven’t committed the ’sins’ that they have, and accuse me of lying about my ‘good’ life, because it can’t be possible?

Speaking of it not being possible for an atheist to have a good life, did you know that they have called us, and myself personally, child molesters, rapists, murderers, thieves, sinners, demons, devils, satan worshippers, and all other manner of things that I at least am certainly not?  (I’ll go out on a limb here and say MOST atheists are certainly not these things, of course…)

Do you know that a church preached a sermon against my father, myself, and my family because my parents would not censor my reading activities, and then they held a public book and CD burning in my honor?  They even burned CDs that I had never owned or listened to.  They called me a witch.  Not too long ago, they would have burned me at the stake, I assume.

God, save this girl, whose parents allow her to read books...

Anyhow, that is a religionut in a religionutshell.  There’s more of course, but if I continued it would take a lifetime.  Here’s the easy way to figure out if you are one or not:  If you know you aren’t one, you aren’t.  (Even if you are religious.)  If you think you might be one, you probably are.  It’s not my fault if you identify with the crazy people I write about on here.

And, to anyone who tells me to lighten up and take a weaker stance:  Screw off.  You can get your own blog, and some of you already have.  So go have at it, take a light, fluffy stance on the kind of bull shit I’ve outlined above and see how far it gets you.  Because what you need to understand is that not all religious people are religionuts, nor have I ever said so, but the religionuts will always get mad no matter what you say or do.

And the ‘No Shit, Sherlock’ award goes to…

Nadya Suleman, more commonly known as “she has HOW many kids???”, says that no one could care for 14 children alone. Congratulations on your ‘No Shit, Sherlock’ award!  That is why you should’ve stopped at SIX.  (Six kids plus momma that were, by the way, already receiving government assistance.  How the hell did she even afford in-vitro??? UPDATE: Disability payments apparently paid for the in-vitro, and now the hospital is asking the state to reimburse the costs from the birthin’.  Also, some brilliant satire.  I think.  I hope. )

Suleman also said that she was having the second set (octuplets for those who can’t count) because the first ones deserved siblings.  Um, they already had five siblings each!  Her doctor says she’s an “intelligent, educated, christian woman”.  How could I have known that religion made this mess?  I must be freakin’ psychic…

It also totally reminds me of the end of ‘Charlotte’s Web’, when the million spider babies are finally born and blow away.  I apologize for the picture below, it really makes me itch.

Hello, spider babies!

An “Abominable Assasination”

The Vatican is fighting over euthanizing an Italian woman, Eluana Englaro.  You can take a look at the article yourself, but I’m going to have to agree with the Vatican on this one.  This lady is only 37 years old, she has so much life ahead of her.  Think of all of the wonderful milestones she would be missing out on:  seeing her children graduate high school, dancing with them on their joyous wedding days, her 40th, 50th (and beyond) birthdays.  Although I’m sure she won’t miss the wrinkles and watching her hair turn grey! (Vacuous laughter.)

The Vatican apparently knows this woman much better than her family members do.  After some research, I have found that Vatican officials have been visiting her every day in the hospital, and have been there through thick and thin, sitting by her bedside even in her darkest hour.  The Vatican was there when she was born, and dammit, they’ll be there when she dies.

On Tuesday, Cardinal Javier Lozano Barragan, the Pope’s health minister, said euthanasia was a solution “not worthy of a human being”.

Admiration from me for Cardinal Barragan, who has so graciously offered to help assist this woman in leading a life ‘worthy of a human being’…  Why, he’s already started planning the big 40th birthday bash that Eluana would have been missing, and he’s looking forward to many more!  (Turns out he’s quite the party planner…)

We also need to remember that killing her prematurely would be like playing god.  How do any of us have the right to decide if she should live or die?  She is alive now, by god’s will, and we have no right to just snatch those tubes that the lord and savior put there out of her.

Translation of signs for those who do not speak Italian: "Don't play god with our playing god!" "Tube feedingness is next to godliness"

News at 11: Atheism Diminishes Survival Instinct; God Makes You a Jack Ass…

UPDATE:  In case some people are missing the point of this:

We went through the reasons such a letter could be sent, and all we could think of was intimidation.  (You know, they KNOW where we live.)  We are not scared, but I would like to say it’s not very kind to send a letter to someone’s home telling them to die, or threatening them in any way.

I would say most of all, it solidifies my idea that religious people are absolute crack heads who need to stay far away from me.

And I’m sorry, but even ‘nice’ religious people…  You are only paving the way for this hatred by having these beliefs.  Some religions tell people they don’t need to be accountable (atone for your sin later, all will be forgiven), they allow people to dehumanize others to the point of hatred and bigotry (those other people aren’t like us!), and they allow people to feel a sense of entitlement to their actions, no matter how heinous (god wants me to do this!).  This gives them all license through imagination to burn down our house with us in it…   Not okay.  NOT okay!  Get it?  Please think about how your beliefs may influence others, especially those who are already a twinge ‘not right’.  They need therapy and supervision, not religion.

OKAY, onto the original post:

Vic received a letter in the mail, the SNAIL mail.  This person knows where we live.  Well, he knows where my adorable fiance lives, which also happens to be where I live.  You see, if you have a home phone with a listed number, people can look you up.  (Thanks, Vic, I told you that home phone was for the dinosaurs!)

This person obviously found the Southern Minnesota Atheists Meet Up Group, oooooo, time to advertise!  Click on the link to see us! 

This person also obviously LOVES quotations marks, and I mean quite a “lot”.  He also doesn’t quite understand the use of apostrophes, hyphens, semi-colons, or colons.  He is versed in the use of commas when say, creating a list, but really not anywhere else.

Here it is, in all it’s glory.  All I keep thinking is that this person knows where we LIVE…  I mean, wow.  Great.  At least the mail came from Nevada!  Stay there!  (I left the letter worded and written exactly as received.  My comments are in italics.)

To all “free thinkers” of the Southern Minnesota Atheist Society  (You went to the trouble of writing to us, but not of getting the name of our meet-up group correct?  Thanks bunches!)

Over the time of recorded history it seems as though humans have been obsessed with the concept of an “illusive” higher being or beings. When or from where did the idea of “deities” “Gods” emanate? Did early humans realize that they could not control the inexplainable occurrences of nature? Was it during some stage in the development of the human mind that our ancestors began to recognize that they could “imagine”? Did early man vary in his ability to “imagine”? If there was a variation did those with more “imaginative” brains (smarter? More intelligent?) sit around and imagine “beings” that could (would) ultimately serve as an effective control over the less than “imaginative” day laborers who were busy with the business of keeping the group or self alive? Did this control help or hinder the development of a group concept of survival? The developmental aspect of control is easy to observe. One needs only to watch a movie on infants interacting. It can be temporarily amusing to watch as these partially mobile humans commit acts of overt aggression as one physically takes a toy from the other. The amusement is short lived however when we must wonder whether or not the aggressive child is reacting to the covert messages from the various gene segments that might give rise to this behavior. Does the aggressor have more”controlling” genes? And what is going on with the genes of the non-aggressor? Does this second child possess “coping” genes? Do these same genes play a very important part in how an individual develops in society? Are our thoughts and lives programmed by this ancestral DNA? If so then we as humans are doomed to behave a certain way. Is there nothing we can do about it? Can we now use this as an excuse for “antisocial” behavior? Now instead of “the devil made me do it” (or is the devil a deity that does not exist?” we can blame it on our ever powerful DNA. There are words that our society has developed and those are “barbaric” and “civilized” It is here that I must interject some musings of Sarte when he suggested that the man called Jesus was an example of the highest level of “unbarbarism”. In other words the most civilized of human beings. For some of us the goal of becoming more “civilized” is a worthy one. But then that brings us to the dilemma of free choice. And when did this all happen? It is quite a burdensome human trait. Come on, we need some help here! Some guidance perhaps to help us “civilize” (or not) this very controlling DNA of ours. Are our actions “good” or “bad”? Good or bad for whom or what? Ourselves? Society? It is these choices that we are expected to make everyday that might cause us to rethink our “free thinking” or “imaginative” thoughts.

Okay, I think it’s obvious that he thinks if you’re imaginative, you’re better and smarter.  He also somehow thinks that atheists cannot be imaginative.  We can be very imaginative, we just recognize, unlike you, that it is our imagination and not something real.

And then we come to the question about when “free thinking” evolved. Is free thinking unfettered imagination? If we are products of “divine” creation then what was the “Creator” aiming for when He endowed us with this bothersome aspect of humanity. It is quite a chore to be obliged to “think for oneself”. Therefore some of us might choose the seemingly safe and comfortable life of having our choices made for us.

It is tough to think for yourself.  Really, really hard.  If you’re Jessica Simpson, maybe…  Also, if god really made me, how did he make me smart enough to deny him?  And how does he allow me to deny him?  He could easily get rid of me, and all of the other atheists in a second, right?

Whether we believe in our advanced imaginations that we are the result of “divine creation” or the up-to-date version of ’sequential metamorphosing’ of our DNA we are still faced with the dilemma of “really, how did I get here” “what am I doing here” and “for what reason am I here”. Basically “whats it all about and why”. Therefore many of us seek for a “meaningful” existence. Maybe even a civilized existence.

Oh, attempt at a burn.  You see, xtians, we can see through your not-so-veiled insults.  You’re saying I don’t have a meaningful existence or a civilized existence.  Thanks.  Man, someday I’d love to just truly stand next to one of these suckers and have an objective audience tick through our bad and good qualities.  Would it change their mind when my goodness and civility totally drowned out theirs?  No.  But it sure would be funny to hear about all of their golden showers in the porn shop they’re not telling their wives about…

It is at this point that all of us “free thinkers” must find our own path. It seems as though some of us might seek a guidance system to help us understand “what its all about”. Maybe some of us a need to ave a meaningful, understandable existence. There are available to us philosophies that are as variable and unpredictable as our constantly changing DNA. Who knows which philosophy is best?. What can we depend on to be the “truth”? Absolutely nothing that is “testable” or “provable”. And so we choose the philosophy that best fits our needs. It apparently neither right or wrong for that person. And it is with the advent of “imaginative” philosophies we reach the time in human history that these ideas were written down to be shared by all. Varied and “fickle” philosophies became very controlling and very useful for the “controller”. It is very easy to peruse the writings of the “Homeric Age” et. al. And recognize the abundance of “imaginary” dieties that controlled the thoughts and actions of the “common” man. Once again it seems evident to me that the more “imaginative brains” sat around eating bon bons while the not so smart y did all the hard physical work. This physical work was necessary to keep the “smart” ones in bon bons. Wow that is a bit similar to our “free” country today where the “not so smart” work hard to keep the “ereforesmart” guys in luxury. So the concept of “imagination” of “free thinking” became a very lucrative endeavor. If the establishment of “deities” was not necessary to the developing human society it certainly became an integral part of it. Perhaps the greatest puzzle to me is how the diverse and spatially distant societies came up with similar practices. Native Americans, Mayans and Polynesians to mention just a few. It is almost impossible for me to understand the controlling reward gained from human sacrifice in either ancient or modern cultures. And here I refer again to the concept of “free choice”. In our society for one to decide to sacrifice a human being to the American “god” of “convenience” (for that is the controlling deity in this case) rather than acknowledging the value of the contribution to the foundation of an enduring society is both short sighted and quite ignorant about the historical fate of ancient civilizations. I am not discussing right or wrong but simply blind stupidity. Other cultures in the world do not seem to serve the “god” of convenience and proceed to populate their group apparently without regard to social inconvenience.

We must all find our own paths, he says, then goes on to say:  Only yours happens to be wrong, so I thought I’d write you a letter to tell you this.

It is at this point I must go on to discuss what I understand to be the basic idea of atheism. It seems to be a strong belief that here are no gods, spirits, angels, or devils. In other words no visible, testable controllers. WOW, what freedom that must be. So I allow myself a flight of fantasy and imagine having a really bad day. No one did homage to my grandiose, self centered, intelligent, beautiful, terrific self. I am feeling “down”. But happily for me my philosophical elitism provides for me a solution. Since there is no guilt, no remorse or fear in any hereafter, I can kill myself. So whats the big deal? Some efficient plant or worm will soon make use of my molecules. Now back to reality. That scenario doesn’t work for me and the despondency of poor “Hamlet” comes to mind. He simply says he would rather “bear these ills we have than fly to those we know not of, thus conscience does make cowards of us all”. I am a coward. I could not kill myself because of my “illusive controller”. Deep within my psyche I have some messages. Messages that remind me of my obligations to my fellow man. One obligation prevents me from performing the singularily most selfish act I can think of-suicide. Does being an atheist allow you to be devoid of these obligations? How refreshing not to have to be nice or kind of thoughtful but instead feel the right to be cruel and sadistic. How relaxing not to be afraid of anything, no stress. You guys must know constant calmness. No ulcers, no hypertension, no heart disease etc.etc. So then I say to the atheist, enjoy your implicit freedom from controlling, imagined and illusive “deities” but be aware of the gods that are not imagined or illusive and are horribly controlling. These gods are abundant in our American culture and we all pay homage to them with a profound dedication that wold make even the most “God fearing” Christian look weak. What are these gods you ask. Before I discuss them it might be helpful if we recognize the feeling of being close to a god. I would suggest that there is a definite euphoria as we leave the realm of the mundane to be elevated to dwell on the level where gods abide. “Man I feel so turned on” etc.

If you think we’re all just okay with killing ourselves, then why are there so many of us?  Also, yet another insult, as this jack ass is MORE than implying that I have nothing to live for without god.  Thank you for telling me how empty and awful my life is.  It is pretty bad.  (See my awful description of myself and my tortured existence on my about me page!)

What are these American “gods” I referred to? One I have already mentioned, the god of convenience. Do homage to this deity by ridding yourself of anything inconvenient-a stupid friend, a boss, a wife, a husband, a job, an uncool car, a baby or anything else that is boring to your lofty self. “It feels good to be rid of…….”.

Wow, you think all of these things are ‘inconvenient’.  I happen to like my friends, my boss is way cool and nice, I don’t have a wife, sorry, just not my thing, but I wish other women could have wives (a TOTALLY different blog there), I love my fiance with all of my heart, my job rocks the casbah and I feel very very lucky, my car is not very cool, but I like it, and I don’t have a baby, but I have kitties who are super fun…  So I guess because I like all of these things and have love in my heart for them that I am somehow worshipping some god of ‘convenience’…   Look who’s makin’ up the rules!  Sorry dude, but you don’t make the rules in my world.  Also, if you want me to finish your sentence, I can’t.  Because the only thing that would feel really good to be ‘rid of’ right now is people harassing and assaulting me, and, unfortunately, I cannot be free of that at this time.  My hope is that some atheists in the future will be.

The god of “fashion”.It is here that the so-called free thinking, free choice people ignore the reality of finance and pay homage(and I do mean pay) “I bought this and it made me feel so special”. Just ignore the cost.

Yep, my WalMart wardrobe makes me a true slave to fashion.  I did buy it, it doesn’t make me feel special, and I almost can ignore the cost, since it’s freakin’ WalMart.

The god of “Sex”. I mean really can you get any closer to a “godly” level than when you have an orgasm? Trouble is it doesn’t last very long and so the sex god (like other gods) demands constant homage. Then we have the god of “food”, the god of “booze”, the god of “drugs” the god of “physicality” the god of ultimate control “guns”, the god of “self”(psychopathic personality) etc.

Yes, orgasms are so close to godly.  This god DOES demand constant homage.  Why just today, I was thinking of how sore my vagina was, and how I really have to stop constantly having things in it, because I’m such a heathen that I wear crotchless pants everywhere I go just to dick myself at all times.

The other gods, you’re right, oh how I worship them.  I weigh about 2,000 pounds; I’m drunk pretty much constantly; drugs, don’t even get me started; physicality, I have a LOT because I weigh 2,000 pounds, so that’s a lot of physical-ness; guns, hanging all over my house and under my pillow; and self: I am a psychopath.  A 2,000 pound, drunk, high, gun-toting, vagina-sore-ing psycopath.

And so my atheistic scholars you are not about to serve an illusive, imagined deity but are indeed very bonded to the demands of real predictable “gods”. Perhaps these gods will help you to know “who you really are”. My problem with these gods is that they are always changing and it is really costly to me in mind, body and pocket book to aways be popular and “cool”. Therefore I do not serve them even though my personal space is always invaded by their advertising “sermons”. At least a member of an organized religion it is a once a week sermon if I so choose to attend.

Holy shit, did he just call me a scholar.  Nice.  Finally something we can agree on.  Oh, he also called me popular and cool.  I am really starting to take a shine to this guy!!

It is necessary in this treatise to address the history of each faction(recorded-actual or otherwise). The history of both reveals practices heavily laden with much “ungoodness”as each fashion attempted to reach their ideological goals. That is in the past but maybe knowing about these horrible deeds would help us make better choices in our interactions with humanity. Very likely not as human nature (DNA) is quite “headstrong” and there is a tendency for history to be repeated.

Treatise?  Come on.  I’m starting to not like you again…

I now share with you my personal belief. Believe me when I say that I am a discerning follower of the teaching of Jesus the Christ. Part of our heritage is the involvement with the laws of the Jewish religion. Now I have no intention of pretending to be knowledgeable about the 600 plus laws they live by. I do know that there are some practices the early Isralites followed that according to my resanoning they could not have discovered by trial and error. How did they know not to eat pork at a time when pigs ate garbage and were filled with parasites that could infect humans? How did they know not to drink the blood that we know is filled with waste products? How did they know not to practice incest (yes, I know about Lot and his daughters) when it would eventually produce less than perfect offspring? The practice of circumcisn, a personal hygiene thing for them but I doubt if they had knowledge at that time to recognize that the foreskin could harbor “germs”. The Jews had definite ideas about “clean vs. unclean” and the world didn’t know about germs until the middle of the 1800’s. And if you are curious about the “Big Bang” just read the first verse of Genesis.

Woah, this dude totally just solved the mystery of the beginning of the universe.  Why is no one paying attention to this man??  Wake up, people!

Also, um, yeah, humans are pretty bad at finding patterns in the world…  It’s one of our worst qualities or skills.  Wait, what?  It’s one of our best qualities and a well-honed skill, to the point that people tend to see patterns even when no patterns exist?  (Think jesus tortilla.)  Oh, okay, I’m sorry, I forgot that part.

These things made me think that there was some “higher thinker”. A personal near death experience when I was only 12 helped me know I was not alone. For me it has been a good relationship. I like the feeling that there is an “all knowing” being and when I pray (I don’t know how to do the impressive lofty thing but instead) I kinda pray on the run like “I could use a little help here” “Thanks much I really appreciated that” “You are one cool dude to put that thought into my head” Yes I pray Our Lords prayer cause it seems to cover a lot. What I really find fantastic are the teachings of Jesus (as found in places like His sermon on the Mount) Those are really good guidances for me and how I want to live my life and treat my fellow man. My Jesus was no wimp, in addition to kindness and love He displayed anger and sadness. I am sad about how the Jews apparently felt e was such a threat to their controlling beliefs that they had to get rid of Him. I sure would have called in the troops and run them through, but He chose to be subjected to the words death possible. It teaches the Christian a lot and it s here that science explanation goes out the window. He didn’t die, but experienced a phenomenon that is hard to understand (like beam me up Scotty) and so I don’t try to analyze it with my limited “knowledge”. I just believe and that philosophy works for me cause I sure have not found any other to help me to understand this messy humanity

Wow, is this letter from Mel Gibson?  I’m an atheist, and even I don’t have that much hatred in me toward jews…  (Actually, I have no hatred in me toward jews, but that’s another blog as well, I suppose.  I actually quite love jews and used to really long to be one of them; in fashion, not practice.  Dang, they look cool and they’re so fuckin’ funny all of the time!)

So this ends my message to you and your group of “free thinkers”. You all are unencumbered by the mental heaviness of organized religion, belief in something that might be “smarter” than you. This gives you all the freedom to treat your fellow beings however your primitive DNA dictates. Because after all for you and your scholars there is no heaven and there is no hell. You all can live your lives in complete abandon answerable neither to ourselves or one another and certainly not any “invisible” controller. It would seem you have nothing to lose, so enjoy!!!! CAUTION You might be in for a big surprise-who knows?

Woah, that was the kicker.  All of a sudden, I am no longer an atheist.  Your kind words and stellar logic have helped me to see the error of my ways.  Thank you so much for finding us on the internet, looking up our mailing address, sending a long-ass rant to my lover, and saving my soul…  I can now truly see why christians are so much better than atheists!  You’ve obviously got everything you could ever ask for, and get all of the help you need at all times.  My life, until now, has been a pathetic, empty shell.  Thank you so much for enlightening me.

I would love to write back to you, but somehow you forgot to include your name and mailing address.  Please send it to me so I can PERSONALLY thank you for helping me in this kind, loving way.

Man Says “God Made Me Do It!”

A man says that god told him to run into a woman on the highway at about 100 miles an hour, saying that god said she “needed to be taken off of the road”.

I was wondering if she has a nice T-Rex eating a Jesus fish on the back of her car, like I do?  I hope that I don’t end up driving near any religious people who drive like that!  lol.

I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that someone would use this excuse to run someone off the road, I mean, they use god to excuse a lot worse things, right?

Jesus shows up in a LOT of places, not just tortillas. (But tortillas, as well.)

Okay, I cannot BELIEVE what is on Ebay when you search for ‘jesus’.  I mean, holy jesus, look at all of this stuff!

Here’s some people who never cleaned their shower curtain, and they see a face in the mildew. A jesus face in shower curtain mildew.  Wow.

The ever present, always popular, jesus in a tortilla… This one is cute, I like it, because you can almost see how the person carved out the face themselves and it looks really dopey.  I am considering buying this one, because I like this person’s enterprenuerial spirit.

Jesus and Mary on a knot of wood. I am REALLY not seeing this.  It says someone’s dog found it.  Speaking of dogs…

Last, but certainly not least, jesus’s face on the doggie door. Yes, jesus is appearing on the door your pets use when they need to do their business.  I LOVE this one, and I also love the very long personal story this seller relates about how they were thinking about giving their dogs away, but then this jesus face came, so they didn’t.  It kind of reminds me of the part in Charlotte’s Web, when everyone is in awe over the pig, but someone points out it’s the spider that is amazing…  It’s not the dogs, it’s the doggie door. Come on, get with it! 

We Are the World, Islamic Style!

Michael Jackson, they say, is converting to Islam.  Well, I for one think he’s done stranger things.

Hmm, an Islamic fundamentalist AND a possible child molester.  I don’t look so bad now, do I?  lol.

Just keep sitting there every Sunday and take the hate…

Priest:  No communion for Obama voters

Here it is for you to take a look at.  It almost makes me speechless.

Hey, I said ‘almost’.  What this priest is doing, I would say is beyond the pale.  I think indoctrinating people to the point of hate, violence, and racism is right up there with molestation, for sure.

I think the saddest part about all of this, is that there will still be followers who will not use these kind of events as an opportunity to see the truth behind their ‘worship’.  It is too bad they cannot take a stand against intolerance and insanity.

Because, you see, that is what I would do, but I was raised to be a thinking person.  If I was in a Minnesota Atheists meeting, and a leader in the group started spouting racist, hateful speech (because let’s face it, that’s what this is about: abortion doesn’t have anything to do with it, because McCain is also pro-choice in his own odd way), I would get up and walk out and wouldn’t come back unless that person was removed, and I would do my best to insure they were removed…

But hey, that’s just me.  You keep sitting in your church and saying nothing, it does me good.  It helps me to know that you are not a person with morals or integrity, and because of that, you are not to be trusted.  If you can’t take a stance against the horrible things your leaders have done or said, you cannot be a shred better than they are.